all dogs go to heaven

My dog Tinker is 15 years old, he would have been 16 in June. He lived a long life, and he had a great life, but tomorrow my little man will be in a better place. For the past year he has been pretty sick and now his arthritis is really bad and he can't he or hear anymore. So my parents made the decision to put him down tomorrow. You know I knew it was going to be a sad thing, but the news has hit me real hard and I thought about it and it's the first real death that has hit me so hard because he is pretty much my brother, him and my brother are the same age so he has been in my life a long time. We have gone many places together, all through the states, he;s even in our family pictures. In reality he wasnt a dog, he was just as human as anyone, he didnt even act like a dog. We always joked that he even watched tv, which I think he did, he was always on the couch starring at the tv. It's just going to be so horrible to go home and not have him greet me. But I belive that all dogs go to heaven and he will greet me when I get there, just as he always has.

I'll miss you Tinks, and I will love you forever

the reasons I am bitter

You know those people that are all flowers and sunshine and happy go lucky? Yea well they can go fuck themselves. The world isnt' all bunnies and rainbows. This world is a joke. Honestly this year has been a huge waste of fucking time. Nothing has been good. People always wonder why I am always so bitter and full of hate well nothing in this world has given me any inkling to think other wise. Yes how about school charges you extra money, bank is wanting you to pay their loan back RIGHT now instead of when I finsih school like it's supposed to be, or how about raise my rent an extra fifty bucks, oh or cut my hours at work so I can be even poorer. Fucking lovely. need more reasons well I fucking got them if you want them.

just a little of remember when syndrome

I dunno about you readers, but when ever i will see or remeber something it usually sets me off on the remember when things. For example I was talking to my friend about broken bones and I just remembered a little ol memory that kinda made me chuckle then feel bad all over again.

It was after I broke my finger and it had healed and all that, and my brother complains that his toes are really sore. And I just thought that he wanted some of the attention that I had been getting so I got mad and twisted his toes and he screamed and I was just like, "Get over it faker". And I was quite pleased with myself until the next day he comes back from the doctors only to tell me that he had broken 3 of his toes. I felt like a pretty huge jackass.

So then thinking about how much of a frickin bitch I was as a youth, and I would tell you these storys if you didnt want to get like 20 years of your life back, so I will save you from that. But to cut it short I was probably one of the most miserable children you could ever encounter. I liked to ruin other peoples good times, somehow it made me feel like I was cool. Frack what a jackhole.

A girl just wants to have fun

So I decided that this summer I want to have a kickass time, mostly because last summer was super duper lame. So I am going to make sure I have at least one day a week where I don't have school or work so I can achieve some fun times. So here is a list of at least 10 things I want to do this summer.

10. Go for a bike ride
9. Have an actual picnic at Stanley Park
8. Go swimming at the spit
7. Go horse back riding
6. Go mini golfing
5. Eat a hot dog from one of those street vendors
4. Go to the beaches in Van
3. Teach Noor how to swim
2. Go go karting
1. Learn how to roller blade

So lets see how much of this I actually do ha ha

Show me the Beast!!

Here is my indepth thoughts on Beauty and the Beast. Also I apologize for this being long but it had to be to get it all in.

So the movie starts up with a pretty little stained glass sequence with a selfish little bastard prince (as most good movies do) where he is telling a nasty ol' witch to take a hike (which who wouldn't? I know I wouldnt let a old hag in my castle to try to get into my little prince pants). So she gets all up in her buisness and turns him into a beast ( and he's the one with angerment issues???) And then the life long question is asked, "For who could ever learn to love a beast?"

The pan into a little provincial life and you find our leading lady, Belle, walking along reading a book ( geek). And let me tell you it must be some damn good book to not notice that EVERYONE in town is following you singing about how odd you are. And when she is signing about her favorite part of the book and the lamb eats the page and she just smiles and keeps on singing.......... yea pretty sure that lamb would be my new jacket. So what would a movie be without a burly stalker? Not a Disney movie thats for frickin sure. So said burly stalker is Gaston, who strikes me as burly papertowel mascot, and is followed by three blondes who clearly resemble the Dixie Chicks.

So Belles quack of a father goes to an invention fair and decides to take a short cut, which hasnt anyone frickin learned never to take a dark and foggy shortcut then get lost and blame it on the horse??!!!! So yes what do you do, you break and enter into a catsle that looks like death. So I don't know if this is normal in "Provincial life" but casually drinking out of a child talking cup is considered pedifilism in North American Life. So the angry master of the castle (beast for those not so privleged) storms down and throws the old coot in the dungeon. Who needs police when you have your own personal jail!!!

So cut back to yet again a man in tights planning a surprise wedding for a very 'lucky' unsuspecting lady. How could she refuse such a gracious marital promise as his "latest kill on the fire", but as every self ricious disney bimbo, she wants much more than that provincial life. So she declines the offer, which id retarded because he is like the hunkiest man in town , cuz pretty sure if this 'setting' was on Quadra, I would be one of those blonde dixie chicks trying to vie for his attention, secretly wishing Belle would fall in a hole and die.

So Belle decides to go look for her father ( yea sssmmmaarrtt, dumbass why do it yourself when you have a man in tights just busting to do what ever you want) So she reaches the castle and and the first think the talking fixtures say is, "A girl in the castle??", they say this like she's a straight girl looking for love in a gaybar; wait... is there something that the beast isnt telling us?? Would he prefer Gaston were in the castle? Belle finds her dad in the dungeon, but the beast finds her and the stupid girl, instead of running in fear she asks him to "come into the light", and we get a glance at the beast sultry ocean blue eyes. So she trades her life for her dads, which is noble because if that was the case in my life I'd have to say, "We'll it was a good run dad, hope you like it here, peace".

So now we see a a very glum Gaston ( a very close resemblance to me on prom night) but somehow bursting into a song makes one feel a lot better, especially a song about how great you are ( sadly I never thought about doing that at prom)

*Zap* back to the castle and we see the beast watching Belle in his magic mirror. Frick what goes down in the sick ass provincial life, no wonder why Belle wants out. So the Beast yells at Belle and she runs away, she should be grateful that he didnt throw her back in the dungeon after she broke the rules and went into his room and played with his flower. Screw the staple car chase, we have a classic horse and wolf chase scene. B & B have a little fight at the castle but now have an 'understanding' and the Beast discovered that he loves the girl, and then there is the beautious tale as old as time song that melts his (and mine) icy heart.

So now the beast is blinded by the light (aka love) he let's Belle go, just before the spell is broken, damn it must be love, cuz if I were the beast I would have kept her at that castle until she learned to love me. So Gaston's men go after the Beast (mostly so Gaston can get his balls back) Then comes the tale old fight.... man vs. furniture. But damn and blast Gaston shanked the Beast and he dies, but Belle cries and 'breaks' the spell which brings the Beast back to life. BUT turns him into a sexy non beast man, but you can't help but notice the dissapointed look in Belle's eyes, she wanted to do dirty things to the hairy Beast.

I guess she didn't want more than that sick provincial life.

My final days

So I am writing this post in my final day as a teenager, sad I know.

Society frowns upon teenagers and now I suppose I will have to turn on all of you that are still youngins and sneer at the way you drive with your silly little N's and L's, and the way you dress, and the way you have to peirce everything.

And my friend Britney just assured my that "20 is the new 15" so in that case forget everything I said in the paragraph above. Although I still may sneer and judge those few because thats how I roll and hey, you have to respect me I am your elder.

Good bye cruel teenage world............ and hello to a life of wrinkle cream and depends

Screw this, I just wanna be a Disney Princess

Admit it the title strikes a little place close to home doesnt it........yes it does. I have realized that Disney has given me unrealistic expectations for love, those bastards.

For example when my mother was in an 'evil' mood making me do chores no men in tights tried to get into my teenage pants, let alone sing sweet nothings to me by the well. Mind you I didnt really have animal friends but living on Quadra there was always deer in the yard, they just didnt take kindly to me talking to them.

Or when I would go down to the beach and swim infront of a certain someones house pretending that maybe he could be my Prince Eric, he is quite tall, dark and handsome. WBut instead I would just look like a total fuck wad tring to be a mermaid no wonder he never came down, especially if he heard me singing, a part of your world to him, mind you Eric liked it so why wouldnt all boys.

Or how about dropping your shoe purposly on a stairwell so that a certain someone would come and find you and slip it on your foot..... too bad I had to wear mens shoes....... ok so now I see why that didnt work. I suppose it's not really jive for straight men slipping shoes on other men.

Oh well I suppose I will just have to search the world for a beast that I can make love me so I can break his enchanted spell..... maybe just maybe.....